This White Girl Can Dance

"My boy asks me how do u dance with a white girl, I reply just stand there bc she never gonna be on the same beat as the music #TrueStory"

The above tweet was the source of my latest "ah-ha" moment. As soon as I read this I defended white people everywhere and argued the stigma that we (white folk) do not know how to dance. There were a few more back and forth tweets with the final line from the instigator being "cute tho u standing up i admire that!"

And THAT was the source of my eureka moment...standing up!

In nursing school we are taught many theories and practices, one of which being the patient's advocate. Nurses are the last line of defense for a patient. It is the nurse that administers medications, therefore nurses are the last line of knowledge on the safety of the medication being ordered and the last person who can directly question the provider. Nurses are also the ones that spend the most time with the patient and notice the "little" changes that can quickly turn into big, life threatening situations.

Questioning a provider on any order, medication or otherwise takes guts....cajones if you will. However, there is no room for timidity in the nursing role. Nurses must be willing to advocate for their patients and family..to be the voice of holistic care in the patient's best interest.

I also thought about places in my own life, outside of my dance moves, where I have and still need to "stand up" for myself. Believe it or not have made leaps and bounds in the boy department with standing up and requiring to be treated for the woman I am. But there are still areas where I have SO much work to do. My best and yet most terrible fault is the fact that I put myself last....emotionally, physically, etc. But as my wise friend says, "You can't be a nurse if you are dead." So it is imperative for myself to "stand up". Saying "no" when I need to without guilt (which will be hard....I am Catholic after all) To do what I need to do to be the healthiest me I can be. If I can't stand up for me, how can I stand up for my future patients?

As I continue the path to becoming a Registered Nurse I can't help but think of our veterans and their families. Will I have the strength and courage to speak up, especially related to PTSD? Will I be able to do what ever it takes to get our vets not only what they need but what they deserve? There is much bureaucracy within "the system", I know this from my experiences in Washington DC and even here in Beaufort.

I can dance...I really can! And I didn't hesitate to defend my white girl dance moves. That is small potatoes...but sometimes you have to start small and work your way up from there. Today white girl dancing, tomorrow, standing up for my own health. And the day after that? Pushing the envelope so our veterans can get the health care they need and deserve.

Can I Really Make A Difference

My heart broke today when I read the article about the Soldier who was made famous by this photo, PFC Joseph Dwyer (read the article and you will understand). We've all seen this picture in media and even on those "forward this on for the troops" emails.

PFC Dwyer died June 28th from "huffing" aerosols. He had PTSD and I suppose (only suppose) that he was tired of fighting the nightmare in his head that never ended...even when he was awake and this was a way to find freedom.

Although I have never seen combat and will NEVER understand what our service men/women go through as they decompress from the war upon their return home, I do know what no hope does to you.

My own family struggled to understand what was going on in my head as I recovered from my own illness, how the "sickness" almost won. There are no words, and the best analogy I could come up with is when someone is drowning in the movies they fight and fight and fight to stay above the water, but then there is that point. That point where they can't fight anymore and they slowly and somewhat peacefully sink the bottom and die. That is what "no hope" feels like. Like death is better than life and you just don't have the strength to go on.

I wonder sometimes if I was allowed to suffer as I did to gain a glimpse into the war of the mind, that my time of utter despair, darkness upon darkness will somehow allow me to love these wounded warriors for Christ. If that is the case, I praise God for the beauty that He brought forth from the ashes.

But as I read further in the article this Soldier's family and friends tried to get him help in the both the military and civilian world with no avail. The military would point at the civilian world and the civilian world would point right back at the military, while in the meantime the clock is running out of time.

Can I beat that system? Do I have scissors big and sharp enough to cut the bureaucratic red tape? Do I have enough perseverance to push the system until it breaks allowing the healing waters to flow in and provide the care that is needed and deserved? Can the love that lives in my heart and the desire to be Christ to others bring down the walls that have been built up?

I can only assume that PFC Dwyer was tired of fighting his living hell, the war that followed him here to the US, and that he felt his only hope was to sink to the bottom. I don't know if someone was Christ to him as he fought to stay afloat or in his final hour as he decided to sink. I don't know if I could have made a difference in his life. I do know, however, that the system failed him and that is not acceptable and in fact it is abominable. I get angry when I think about those who are suffering in the mind like this. I pray that this anger is the driving force that will allow me to push the envelope, to "rock the boat" a little bit...or a lot.

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know the torments of those who suffer from PTSD- both their secret torments and the obvious. We pray today for a perfect cure for all who suffer from this illness. Comfort the afflicted and show them your love and compassion and especially send them a speedy, perfect cure.

St. Michael the Archangel defend them against the enemy at work.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Happy 4th of July

My love for the military began at a very early age, 1986 to be exact, when I watched "Top Gun" for the first time. My heart was taken and my destination set. I was going to be the first female pilot to fly at Top Gun. Well, I never did get tall enough to make it to "Top Gun" but to this day I can quote that movie front to back.

Fast forward twenty something years to the present time and my love for our men and women in uniform is going strong. I am honored to call many Sailors, Soldiers, and Marines friends...you could even say I am a little defensive of them and their job protecting us.

In case you didn't know, our great nation has a volunteer military. What does that mean? That means that it is not mandatory for all men and women to serve for a specified time when they turn 18. This means that when there is a natural disaster and the National Guard is called in to fill sandbags to prevent flooding they VOLUNTEER to serve. That means that when planes are hijacked and plowed into buildings and fields the men and women who respond VOLUNTEER. That means that when politicians, weather Democratic or Republican, sign a bill declaring war those that are deployed are VOLUNTEERS.

What does that mean to you? I am so glad that you asked! That means you don't have to fill sandbags, respond to an attack on our city, or fly half way around the world to fight a war unless you feel called to do so. That means that as long as people volunteer to serve in our military you don't have to do it by law.

Members of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, KS have been known to protest at the funerals of our brave men and women who have been killed in Iraq/Afghanistan. In Berkeley, CA there is an on going dispute between the residents and the United States Marine Corp recruitment center.

The Westboro Baptist Church protesters have become such a problem protesting at military funerals that the Patriot Guard Riders are often called upon to escort the bodies of our fallen heroes.

The anti-military folks in CA have hit, spat upon, and intimidated not only the men and women who attempt to enlist in the military but those who stand in support of their enlistment.

My point is this: weather you support the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan is inconsequential to supporting our men and women in uniform. Because of them and the sacrifice they and their families make you are able to oppose the wars and verbalize that opposition. Because of them you are not required by law to enlist for a designated time of service. If you feel that the war is unjustified or that the reason we are there are not valid anymore than write to your congressman, the president, march on Washington. But DO NOT attack, verbally or physically, the men and women who make it possible for you to protest without repercussion.

Next time you see a service man/woman or a veteran, shake their hand and thank them for protecting your rights. They didn't have to do it, they volunteered.

Happy 4th of July and God Bless our VOLUNTEER Military!