This White Girl Can Dance

"My boy asks me how do u dance with a white girl, I reply just stand there bc she never gonna be on the same beat as the music #TrueStory"

The above tweet was the source of my latest "ah-ha" moment. As soon as I read this I defended white people everywhere and argued the stigma that we (white folk) do not know how to dance. There were a few more back and forth tweets with the final line from the instigator being "cute tho u standing up i admire that!"

And THAT was the source of my eureka moment...standing up!

In nursing school we are taught many theories and practices, one of which being the patient's advocate. Nurses are the last line of defense for a patient. It is the nurse that administers medications, therefore nurses are the last line of knowledge on the safety of the medication being ordered and the last person who can directly question the provider. Nurses are also the ones that spend the most time with the patient and notice the "little" changes that can quickly turn into big, life threatening situations.

Questioning a provider on any order, medication or otherwise takes guts....cajones if you will. However, there is no room for timidity in the nursing role. Nurses must be willing to advocate for their patients and family..to be the voice of holistic care in the patient's best interest.

I also thought about places in my own life, outside of my dance moves, where I have and still need to "stand up" for myself. Believe it or not have made leaps and bounds in the boy department with standing up and requiring to be treated for the woman I am. But there are still areas where I have SO much work to do. My best and yet most terrible fault is the fact that I put myself last....emotionally, physically, etc. But as my wise friend says, "You can't be a nurse if you are dead." So it is imperative for myself to "stand up". Saying "no" when I need to without guilt (which will be hard....I am Catholic after all) To do what I need to do to be the healthiest me I can be. If I can't stand up for me, how can I stand up for my future patients?

As I continue the path to becoming a Registered Nurse I can't help but think of our veterans and their families. Will I have the strength and courage to speak up, especially related to PTSD? Will I be able to do what ever it takes to get our vets not only what they need but what they deserve? There is much bureaucracy within "the system", I know this from my experiences in Washington DC and even here in Beaufort.

I can dance...I really can! And I didn't hesitate to defend my white girl dance moves. That is small potatoes...but sometimes you have to start small and work your way up from there. Today white girl dancing, tomorrow, standing up for my own health. And the day after that? Pushing the envelope so our veterans can get the health care they need and deserve.

My Breaking Heart

Here is a recent documentary on the situation in the Nuba Mountains. The last 6 minutes are about Mother of Mercy Hospital where I served...I never worked with Dr. Tom as we went to relieve him, but I did work and live with the 2 sisters that are filmed. 

The only thing that will stop this genocide is international pressure. As you will be able to see from the documentary, the government is not targeting the SPLA (Sudanese People's Liberation Army) but the civilian population. The famine is a man made famine focused on killing the Nuba people because they refuse to accept the customs of the Arabs (note I did not say Muslim as many Nuba are Muslim). 

I wish I could adequately express to you what this does to my heart. When I heard the children singing at "school" my heart leapt for joy but as you will see that is short lived. Upon returning from Sudan, I said that I had left half my heart there...well that half of my heart is being broken. 

The Nuba people just want to be Nuba.

Please, pray for my Sudan!

Documentary on the Nuba Mountains

My First Year of Nursing School

There are 21 days left in this semester...I had 2 exams this week. I have 3 next week and then finals begin.

Needless to say I am ready for a break...not from nursing but from nursing school. I am exhausted both mentally and emotionally. To be totally honest I am bordering on being burnt out. School is VERY difficult for me. I am a multi-sensory learner so a professor standing in front of me lecturing sounds very much like the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons. I need pictures, diagrams, and to actually execute the task with my own hands to grasp the concept.

Nursing school and nursing exams are unlike anything you have ever experienced...as the bumper sticker on my car says "Nursing School Is Not For Sissies" There is much truth and wisdom in this statement. In nursing school they don't want to know if you know what a disease IS, they want to know that you know how to "nurse" the symptoms of the disease. Have I lost you yet?

Example: Patient comes into the ER short of breath, the practitioner diagnosis pneumonia, and prescribes antibiotics. As the nurse you are watching the multiple symptoms of the disease...yes its important that the patient has an infection in their lungs but that's the practitioner's problem. What the nurse is looking for is that the lungs are getting clearer, adequate nutrition is being received, oxygen is at a good level, and the antibiotics are being administered on time...ugh, the things that can go wrong with antibiotics are numerous including anaphylactic shock=BAD.

So that's what I'm learning....they call it "critical thinking." That is, seeing a number of problems, putting them in order of importance, and responding appropriately. And sometimes all that must be done in a matter of seconds...seconds that could mean life or death for a patient-ugh, no pressure, right?

I have, however, learned a lot about myself in this first year...

1) I really don't know a lot about sex...I'm not sure who gets more entertained by my questions, my professors or my fellow students.

2) I do not want to be a labor and delivery nurse...hurry up and wait-not my style, plus, screaming women and crying babies stress me out

3) I can function on 3 hours of sleep a night for multiple nights in a row...I may be grumpy but I can function

4) If needs be I can and will crawl onto a patient's hospital bed to administer heart compressions during CPR

5) I can put in a foley catheter (a sterile procedure) without breaking the sterile field and having to start all over...that's a big deal! I've heard stories of students running through multiple pairs of sterile gloves before their professor steps in

6) I am able to leave my emotions outside of the hospital and be a hard ass if I need to be- this is a grace from heaven, however, don't mistake this for leaving my love at the door, which I don't...this grace of seperation will make it possible for me to be a good trauma/combat nurse one day

7) I see Christ in EVERY patient I care for...it is a honor to do the smallest task for them (I haven't had a patient with c-diff yet, so I could re-neg on this one)

8) I really do have every disease that we have covered so far in class with the exception of anorexia...I have managed to dodge that bullet

9) I can't manage nursing school and boys....I just don't have the skills for that nor the expertise...who knew the way to run a boy off was, after he asks for your number, to tell him you won't sleep with him

10) I CAN do this!- I will be a nurse. I will care for our veterans in the VA system. I will return to Gidel, Sudan to serve my brother's and sister's whom I love. I will, if needed, be prepared to care for our wounded warriors in a combat zone. I WILL BE A NURSE!

3 semesters and 21 days left...